Queer and heterosexual relationships have a lot in common. One of the common issues they share is the concept of going 50-50. This refers to sharing responsibilities, acts of love and affection equally and not making one partner do all the work in the relationship.
Men are often viewed as the partner who should take care of everything financially and show more affection. It shouldn’t be like that, because both partners need to feel the same amount of affection and responsibility.
Men need love, too. It’s not just women. Women often want the man to take them out on dates and buy expensive things, but don’t think about doing the same for them. It’s not fair, and not showing your partner the attention he needs will result in him finding it elsewhere. You don’t want to be the reason your partner feels neglected and steps out on you.
Figuring out this balance may be more difficult in same-sex relationships. But, the same concept applies. Both partners should cherish each other equally and share in responsibility.
Don’t give each other strict roles and responsibilities, just love and accept one another. It will make everything easier.
Sharing bills can make the 50-50 dynamic difficult as well. For centuries, the man has been seen as the “breadwinner.” However, it’s 2019 and women are independent and more than able to make their own “bread.”
When it comes to sharing a home, car or other bills, you have to learn how to share the responsibility. If both names are on the lease, both should be sharing the expenses. Split the bills down the middle and pay for them.
Making things 50-50 in the beginning of your relationship will prevent stress and arguments over expenses. Take your man on a date and tell him you appreciate him. Do the things to him that you would want done to you. It isn’t hard, just stop being selfish.
No, sex does not make up for it. Many women feel as though sex is an equal exchange for gifts, dates or acts of service. However, this gets boring quickly. Men usually love to take care of their significant other, but he also wants to feel appreciated.
Outside of a relationship, most women look for men to take care of their bills. It is glorified these days to find a man to take care of things for you. Not realizing it, we bring this same greed into the relationship.
Women will allow a man they don’t care about to give and do for them without anything in return, but they shouldn’t do this for men they do care about.
Women need to stop with the high expectations for what the man should do in the relationship. Ask yourself what are you doing and what should you be doing. If your answer is, “I do enough” or “I don’t need to do anything,” you’re probably wrong. Ask your partner the question seriously, and see what he says.
Nothing is wrong with sharing expenses. It does not make a man less masculine, and it doesn’t make the woman feel as though she is doing more than she needs to. Women and men enjoy the feeling of independence — allow them both to feel it.
Te’Kayla Pittman is a 19-year-old mass communication freshman from Atlanta, Georgia.