Editor's note: This article is a part of a head-to-head. Read the other article here.
When it comes to judging relationships, a lot of people are softer than a roll of Cottonelle toilet tissue. Cottonelle is great for getting the job done and flushing immediately down the toilet. Unfortunately, many relationships share the same fate.
In theory, no one is wrong for having dated multiple people in the past. It is hard to learn from an experience you never had. However, German philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel was right when he said, “We learn from history that we do not learn from history.” I doubt most people try to understand what could have been done to prevent their break up.
Telling ourselves it’s okay to date one person after another is a denial of the truth. If you find yourself running through relationships like you’re in the six, you have a problem. We tell ourselves we are special and unique, but are you when so many people know what it is like to be with you? The rare things in life are usually the most valuable.
Dating is not exactly a business, but your first few dates should be something like an ultra-relaxed job interview. If you’re a hiring manager and you notice the applicant had several jobs in a short time frame, wouldn’t you have questions? Employers have a hard time hiring people who show a lack of commitment.
Relationships are special and should be treated accordingly. If your main concern is whether someone may call you “loose,” the only thing loose is your decision-making and priorities. Every time you enter a new relationship, a part of you changes. Artists who paint understand this better than most.
When you use a paintbrush for the first time, the color from its stroke is perfect. However, when you take the same brush and use it with a different color, you can usually see residue from the first color. You may not notice it when the paint is on the brush, but it will appear on the paper or canvas.
Cleaning the brush thoroughly may remove most of the old paint, but not all of it. The leftover paint will build over time until the brush feels unusable. No matter how hard you try to forget about a past relationship, pieces of it will still be there to affect the next relationship.
When the star player of a basketball team is in a shooting slump, the coach will tell the player to keep shooting and eventually the shoots will fall. Taking a lot of shots in a game is OK. However, relationships deal with people’s emotions, and that is not a game.
When two people form a bond, their lives will change forever. How their relationship turns out will determine if the change is positive or negative. If you have been in multiple relationships, you have hurt more lives than your own.
Therefore, enabling others to feel they can do whatever they want because they’re single is sick. Having a list of people to try next if the relationship doesn’t work shows a lack of commitment. Our society tries too hard to make everyone happy. We’re too afraid to tell people the truth. Not everyone’s behaviors and actions can be justified.
If you are single after dating multiple people, it’s for a reason. Sometimes we need to look in mirror and realize we’re not all heroes. Taking the time to understand why you are single will help everyone in the long run.
The idea of keeping your options open when dating signifies what’s wrong with the world. We want everything now and we’re not interested in waiting. The old saying is still true — good things come to those who wait.
Donald Fountain is a 21-year-old mass communication sophomore from Saint Francisville, Louisiana.