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Juxtaposed Notions: ‘Twilight’ is cleverly disguised porn for women

Columnist

Published: Sunday, March 8, 2009

Updated: Sunday, March 8, 2009

In a traditional sense, porn is defined as “something with no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire,” according to the Webster’s dictionary definition.

“Twilight,” the hit vampire series by Stephenie Meyer, is precisely that. The books offer nothing more than female escapism complete with a price tag, sleek dust jacket and a complementary bookmark.

The escapism is expressed via the caricaturized romance between Bella, a teenage girl who bears a suspicious resemblance to series’ author, and Edward, a century-old sparkling vampire who can’t decide whether he wants to kiss Bella or eat her.

Though the series is often labeled ‘pornographic,’ the text is surprisingly devoid of explicit sex.

But Twilight’s brand of porn, otherwise known as “girl porn,” does not rely on graphic material to captivate its female audience. Rather, this special type of porn manifests itself in the form of emotional binges, excessive romanticizing and interaction with impossibly perfect male characters.

Girl porn has existed for years in the various forms, from the clever and sophisticated Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte novels to the less tactful bodice-rippers by garden-variety romance novelists. Both kinds have had their share of success, though neither has claimed the limelight the way “Twilight” has.

It’s gaudy success has aggravated seasoned novelists. “Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn,” Stephen King told USA Weekend this past February. “[Twilight] is exciting and it’s thrilling and it’s not particularly threatening because it’s not overtly sexual.”

Books like Twilight are nothing more than junk food for the female soul masquerading as literature. King is correct in his accusation that Meyer can’t write worth a darn, given the books’ amateur structure.

The series devotes a total of 2,443 pages to sappy prose, abused adjectives, nauseatingly detailed descriptions and sub-par dialogue. References to Edward’s “glorious, heavenly, seraphic” beauty tally at a vomit-inducing 165 in the first book, and only increase as the series progresses.

As a blogger on Twilightsucks.com put it, “Twilight reads as if Meyer had opened a thesaurus, looked up the words ‘sparkle,’ ‘beautiful,’ and ‘breathtaking,’ then proceeded to catalogue every synonym she found.”

Despite being below bird-cage-liner standards, the series has somehow managed to generate an obscene amount of revenue. The Twilight books and movie have earned more than $356 million in profits. That’s not even counting the other three movies, which have yet to be made, or the DVD sales for the first movie, which is scheduled for release later this month.

Sadly, this proves literary skill is not required when marketing to romance-starved women. But to Meyer’s credit, these figures also prove she knows her audience extremely well. 

Once mass marketers figure out Meyer’s “Twilight” formula, it’s only a matter of time before entrepreneurs jump on the bandwagon and push fictionalized romance into the uber-mainstream, thereby reaping gross profits by hooking women on emotional binges and ridiculous fantasies.

Romantic escapism is alarmingly addictive, and, as it is with any industry that markets addictive products to needy people, windfall profits will certainly follow at the expense of the consumer.

It is an insult to female sexuality to be marketed to in such a tasteless way. Additionally, such unashamed marketing will have serious repercussions by giving women unrealistic expectations about men, just as regular porn gives men unrealistic expectations about women.

Ladies, if you still want your emotional fix, then read Jane Austen or the Bronte sisters. They had class at the very least, not to mention readable prose, an actual plot, and a more wholesome grip on reality.


——
Contact Linnie Leavines at lleavines@lsureveille.com

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73 comments

Anonymous
Fri Jul 9 2010 18:48
You're just jealous that it's not you getting all this love. The book was published, people love it, there are Twihards so stop bashing it. You don't see me bashing Harry Potter do you? Now get a life and move on.
Rick
Thu Apr 15 2010 18:14
From the Breaking Dawn Wiki

Jacob, who was present for the birth, almost immediately "imprints"—an involuntary response in which a shape-shifter finds his soul mate—on Edward and Bella's newborn daughter, Renesmee.

If a man wrote that kind of crap he would be on the sex offenders list. Nuff said.

Anonymous
Sat Apr 10 2010 07:16
Epic win! I loved the article!

Jingle Bells, Bella smells,
Edward, you're so gay,
Twilight is a crappy book
and Potter all the way!

gargamel
Sun Apr 4 2010 00:17
The writer of this article and those who salute it, do not for sure total to .0001 percent of twifandom. But even the ignorants are entitled to their own opinion. So there you go, just don't hate the success, and u don't have to embrace the twi-reality, You can try to find a way to ESCAPE it's nagging POPULARITY, maybe ride it out. It may take a while.
LittlebunnyFifi
Thu Apr 1 2010 21:09
This artical is made of win! That book makes abusive realtionships, stalkers, pedophilia, necrophilia, and many others seem a okay. It sets up girls for disappointment and gives them the illision of what love is thought to be by Meyer. I personally say that Meyer confuses lust for love.
Kyotoxo1
Thu Apr 1 2010 12:14
Frankly, Harry Potter is still the best.
Anon
Sat Mar 20 2010 21:58
A wonderful article. There needs to be more people in the world who agree with you.
Anonymous
Thu Mar 11 2010 12:23
WAS THE WRITER OF THIS COLUME PAID TO PROMOTE JEAN AUTEN AND THE BRONTE SISTERS AND THRASH STEPHANIE MAYER? SHE IS A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN. DON'T HATE LINNIE LEAVINNES.
RedStarMorning
Sun Mar 7 2010 23:18
I Agree, Twilight is a "Book" with no plot to be found and cliche characters. A Mary-sue protagonist and a over populated plot theme of "Forbidden love" is only ment for those who has no respect for true literature, and crappy fan-fiction. The only man or woman how truly grasped the Meaning of Forbidden Love was Shakespeare, and we all know how Romeo and Juliet ended.
Awesome-o-saurus
Thu Feb 18 2010 10:02
Twilight isn't exactly my thing but, aren't you in college! Shouldn't you be writing about a more 'adult' subject than a book about sparkly vampires! I've read Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters. All of them amazing! But if you don't like something can't you just read something else! Anne Rice or Jasper Fforde! Some people may hate them but I just accept that! I believe we should have right of speech but when people like something and then someone attacks it, it's not the best feeling in the world! Some of these comments though are pretty atrocious, it is just a book! Not real! I am only standing upi for the sane Twilight fans. Not the weirdos that want to become vampires, move to Forks and marry Edward. I mean get a grip, but if you enjoy the book and it doesn't control your life then good! My friend is like that, she has quite a lot of the merchandise but I am like that with Doctor Who and Torchwood!But when someone attacks that I'm fine! What I'm trying to say in short is- Good you have an opinion but be prepared for people to fight back! Good luck! Truly, hope you don't live near the Twitards!
Hahah
Sun Jan 10 2010 16:35
And another Hahaha.. oh, wait this wasn't meant to be comedy. Surprising.
Porn for girls.. hah. Porn for girls is something like Lady Chaterly's Lover, or .. hell, even Anita Blake falls into that category. You know, stories written not for the story but the smut between pages 3 and about a 10 pages before the end. THAT is girl porn.

But I don't believe that's the issue this columnist has with the stories.

Here's the thing. Success in any way for an unconventional writer - an uneducated writer with no multiple PhD's to boot - is not meant to happen. Oh, sure, some sales will happen and maybe some will go "tut tut they made a good show, tally ho!" and all that.

Why I laugh at all those scornful "has been" writers that seem to have this opinion, is that the book series is actually a SUCCESS. It's been translated to over a dozen languages. It's been transformed into two successful major films (with a third already out of production and due for release in July).

Mrs B
Tue Dec 8 2009 13:28
Incredible. I am an intelligent and educated married woman. Edward from the books actually reminded me a lot of my husband so complete tosh to anyone out there who says a man that caring and protective does not exist.

What is it in this world that makes us all so threatened by someone else's success. The Twilight books may not be literary masterpieces, but they are pure escapism and enjoyed by millions. Why is that so bad? Why does that challenge so many of you on so many levels? Why is it a problem for teenage girls to have high expectations for themselves?

When a woman meets the right partner something just clicks, and no fantasy or otherwise will, in my opinion, stop that form happening.

I suggest you all chill out and enjoy a bit of fantasy in your own lives ;-)

Edward = stalker
Tue Dec 1 2009 20:12
I found Edward to be creepy. First, he treats Bella like crap, and then he acts like a controlling stalker. I hope this is not what girls think is the perfect guy!!! He is the definition of someone who abuses women. There was no story whatsoever.
Worst Nightmare Created in the Flesh
Tue Dec 1 2009 12:57
I agree with Linnie. I mean all this is doing is setting high expectations for men and women. A lot of young ladies are gonna be very disappointed when they can't find their Edward (because he's an effin made up character from a woman's wet dream!) To be honest I won't be suprised if girls start jumping off cliffs when they get dumped. I just can't see Twilight as literature (YES I READ ALL FOUR BOOKS!!!)

But on the bright side, she's gotten young folks to read and I guess build vocabulary. The Twilight series just isn't my type of series. You want good literature? Read the original Dracula by Bram Stoker, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Hunchback of Notre Dame or Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, hell even Shakespeare. THAT'S what I call literature

Voice of reason
Mon Nov 23 2009 02:26
"if your too stuck up to read anything besides the classics, you future is in troublle.........so evolve and do it quickly "

I don't think this is about 'reading only classics', and if you think porn marketed towards young girls is good literature then I fear it is you who needs to evolve... and quickly.

" if you are going to bash Twilight for creating unrealistic fantasies, then you need to bash every other movie and song that does the same thing. "

No they don't. They could, but you don't need to denounce every single piece of media that commits a particular offense to be able to point it out in one of them... this is just nonsensical reasoning.

"Guys WISH they were as charming and had girls wanted them like Edward. "

No they don't. I wouldn't want a manipulative sociopath like Bella pining after me, nor would I want to be a sparkley man until the end of time.

"You simply sound bitter and jealous of Meyers' success. No, they aren't fine literature"

You think her work is also not fine literature? Does this mean you are also bitter and jealous? Or just that you have basic logic and reason when it comes to recognizing the faults of a book? Isn't it possible this author is also not bitter nor jealous? Think about it.

Your name
Mon Sep 7 2009 20:57
Agreed.
Kikyo Maaka
Sun Aug 30 2009 18:31
Article gets 10/10 for being absolutely freaking 100% correct XD

Seriously, that's more or less all the book is. Now, maaaaybe if she'd added a better plot, better writing (instead of abusing the same words over and over), and the characters had better personalities (Bella and Edward particularly), then it might -- just might -- be a passable book.

Also, people need to stop comparing Harry Potter to this piece of crap thing pretending to be "literature for young adults." At least J.K. Rowling can write something interesting D:

f your couch
Fri Jun 26 2009 02:32
ed is a vampire hes suposed to be perfect. for a girl to expect a human to be like that is irrational. if they wanted a perfect man they would look for a vampire (which would probebly eat them). girls are sarter then you give them credit for.
PS im a boy, i read the whole series, im an A student, and i thought the wrighting was pretty good
names
Tue Jun 9 2009 03:39
First: I was forced to watch "Twilight"... I didn't even like the cheap promotionals hanging on the walls.

... I like all the review... !!it's great¡¡... finally I found another one with a functional brain. Another one with an objetive an analytical point of view and not the typical mindset of cute and childish girls who don't know how to fight their own frigidity, scared by the batterings of a mature, healthy and sexual mind.

I'm a girl and I agree whith the author: - this movie is an insult to female sexuality to be marketed to in such a tasteless way-... this movie sucks, even for porn and I like porn a lot of porn, every day I enjoy real great sex (oh yeah, I'm proud of that) and when I looked around to the other girls at the movies I discovered frustrated highschool females with low imagination, trying to teach their mates how a "real" man should be.

Rather than reading this garbage, I would prefer people not to read anything at all.
I wonder if someone is monitoring the IQ of the general female population to see how much they force that low quality garbage on the population before girls sotp shopping.

But, it's a fact: "these figures also prove Meyer knows her audience extremely well".
_____

nuff said
Mon May 25 2009 23:14
yeah i dont really care about the bias opinion of those who have read the books. the fact is: this book is porn to girls. thats the way girls lust. for guys its physical. This whole series revolves around that fact. it's kind of corny also.






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