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Clues you are an Alabama fan

Published: Sunday, January 29, 2012

Updated: Monday, January 30, 2012 01:01

Brad Wing

photo courtesy of The Associated Press

If your girlfriend left you for Brad Wing, you are an Alabama fan.

Mass communication professor Jay Shelledy's feature writing class created this list of signs for spotting lovers of the Crimson Tide:

You believe corndogs are a delicacy.

You have more guns in your truck than teeth in your mouth.

Your cousin and wife both are ‘Bama fans – and the same person.

Prior to every game, you pray in the name of the Father, Son and Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Your girlfriend left you for Brad Wing.

You know of no football team existing between Bear Bryant and Nick Saban.

You model your hairstyle after John Parker Wilson.

You believe sexually assaulting another person proves how gay he is.

You consider it normal to name a child "Bear."

You just can't let sleeping Tigers lie.

"Roll Tide" is the closest thing you come to bathing.

You tell everyone you are not from Mississippi.

Trees cringe when you walk by.

Tea (and its accompanying bags) is your favorite refreshment.

You consider Krystal's to be fine dining.

You end every meal blessing with "Roll Tide."

You don't allow your children to attend Auburn.

You consider kicking field goals quantum physics.

You celebrate the birthday of John Wilkes Booth.

 

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What makes an LSU fan? Submit your ideas to opinion@lsureveille.com.

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68 comments

codnebill6@gmail.com
Sat Feb 4 2012 15:04
The professor is in no way embarrassing the U of AL but he sure is making a laughing stock out of his creative writing class. There is no creativity in the remarks I read, just copies of some old and tired stuff, uh, similar to LSWHO's football team
LSU class
Fri Feb 3 2012 10:54
This should not have been posted in the paper. LSU and Alabama are two great institutions that are held to a higher standard. This is clearly embarrassing to both Purple and Gold, and Crimson and White. As a fan of college football lets exude class and have better judgement. Some fans ruin for the rest of the group, but it never means we have to stoop to that level.
21_zip
Fri Feb 3 2012 01:35
Offended??? I take this as a compliment. The only way LSU can try to get over the beatdown they received is to attempt to make fun of us. You corndogs are a funny breed.
PS.....shut out
Anonymous
Thu Feb 2 2012 13:43
Thanks Landon Collins! Oh, and thanks for the easy smack-down on national TV. GEAUX BAMA GEAUX---- TWENTY-ONE TO ZEREAUX!!!
Gandalff
Wed Feb 1 2012 18:49
Was this the work of a writing class?
My Goodness the level is definitely LOW.
Almost all of this jokes are stereotypes old as the hills, and you can find 'em in any "you are a southerner if.....".
The others are Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck" jokes.
Give it another try, but set the bar a little higher and produce at least two original and funny jokes :)
V/R
Anonymous
Wed Feb 1 2012 12:40
You might be a LSU fan is

you can't beat the #2 team in your division.

You make fun of people with stereotypes that fit your fan base better.

Your fans throw bourbon bottles at the players,

Corn dogs make great tampons

You think urinating on opposing fans is "Good Clean fun", after all it is sterile.

You kiss your same sex partner in a long passionate kiss on national TV.

You curse Nick Saban for making your program relevant again.

Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 21:42
What are all you bammers doing on an LSU site?
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 19:36
I find it interesting how many bama fans read a LSU paper.
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 19:10
It's funny how Bama fans act like they aren't insulted by this but are the only people commenting. Chill out, y'all have done the same thing. Mudslinging can go both ways, I get it. Get over it (we still had a better record than you guys this year, be happy you got a do-over).
21-0
Tue Jan 31 2012 17:35
DAMN Saban completely ripped LSU's heart out! With one game, Saban tore LSU's season apart and exposed Miles for being what he is......a horrible head coach.

Saban is the 2nd coming of Bear Bryant.

Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 16:29
Think your tough and smart and love teabagging? You must be a Gump
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 16:26
If you have to break the bank and the arm of a coach to come to your University, instead of researching and finding a great new coach, you're definately a Alabama Gump.
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 15:05
Things must have dramatically improved in Louisana since I visited there last year. I didn't know that the "swamp people" had become so sophisticated. It is more than absurd that anyone from the State of Louisana should make fun of people from Alabama.
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 14:24
You might be a Bama fan if your team scored in the national championship game.
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 14:05
At the very least, you should have used a picture of Wing during one of the contests against Bama. He was certainly featured enough.
The Guy
Tue Jan 31 2012 12:19
Awww...Someone is mad that LSU got skull-dragged by the best team in college football..Lol
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 10:01
Honey Badger don't like goose eggs.
Anonymous
Tue Jan 31 2012 09:48
No tornado or trailer jokes?? Damn..
LOL @ lsux
Tue Jan 31 2012 09:27
Wow u swamp rats are sad little peaople. 21-0 and NATIONAL CHAMPS...... I know it hurts
No Huddle
Tue Jan 31 2012 07:34
Dude get over it. Stay classy LSU.






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