Opinion: “Jurassic Park IV” will redeem Louisiana's status - lsureveille.com: Opinion

But He Means Well Opinion: “Jurassic Park IV” will redeem Louisiana's status

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Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 4:18 pm | Updated: 6:33 pm, Mon Mar 18, 2013.

The Jindal administration has worked hard to improve Louisiana’s presence in the national entertainment scene in the past few years.

It’s been a major success for a government which routinely promotes business interests over those of its own citizens, bringing big-budget movies like “Pitch Perfect” and “Battleship” to Louisiana studios as well as TV series like “Swamp People” and “Duck Dynasty”.

Normally, I’d say the government needs to rethink its priorities when the state is consistently rated among the best for business and the worst for overall health and welfare of its citizens, but even dirty socialists like me have to make allowances sometimes.

And nothing says extenuating circumstances like a bunch of dinosaurs roaming around wreaking havoc.

There’s a good chance “Jurassic Park IV” will be filmed here at Baton Rouge’s own Raleigh Studios according to some Hollywood sources.

Raleigh has already hosted NBC/Universal’s shooting for last year’s “Battleship” and the upcoming Tom Cruise vehicle “Oblivion”, and recently revealed that the studio has reserved space for an unspecified Universal project from April to November of this year.

If this pulls through, I may just have to forgive all the backward steps the Jindal administration has ever made.

“Jurassic Park” is the greatest movie of the past 25 years.

It pioneered the use of modern CGI (a lot of which still is pretty convincing, considering it was released in 1993), featured Jeff Goldblum and Richard Attenborough in the roles they were born to play, and cemented Steven Spielberg’s place as the best pop director of his generation.

There’s an entire generation of young adults like myself who marched to school every day with Jurassic Park lunchboxes and skulked around their kitchen cabinets hiding from imaginary Velociraptors.

I know I’ll never forget the catharsis of seeing Gennaro, the greasy lawyer, in his final moments of indignity, tossed around with his pants around his ankles by a T. rex like a kid and his action figure.

I’m just confused on why they have gone straight to number four, as I can’t seem to remember a third movie ever being made. There is a blank spot in my memory, almost as if some traumatic incident of titanic awfulness took place and forced my mind to wipe itself clean.

But all my nostalgia aside, there’s a chance here the filmmakers should not turn down. The world has changed since “The Lost World: Jurassic Park” was released, and the original movies’ themes of mankind’s interference with the natural world are now an everyday part of social discourse.

Genetically modified foods, a dwindling supply of fossil fuels and the looming spectre of climate change and the natural disasters it causes all weigh heavily on the minds and news feeds of modern Americans, and seem the perfect targets for a giant, scaly, Tyrannosaurus-shaped metaphor.

Picture this: Thirty years after the events of the original movie, a rogue bioengineering firm has been breeding more dinosaurs for use as a human food source on a tiny island in the Gulf of Mexico. As these dinosaurs, essentially human “fuel” engineered from fossils (wink wink, nudge nudge), become more numerous, a natural disaster of some type wipes out the human infrastructure, letting them run free.

The final showdown would occur at the last place on the island where the humans still have power, a hydroelectric plant. When the T. rex comes wading toward them, the survivors open the spillway, careening the dinosaur over the dam, sending him falling to his instant and heavy-handedly symbolic death.

And thus civilization is saved by the power of renewable energy.

OK, so it’s a long shot, and chances are “Jurassic Park 4” will be another insipid popcorn movie like The-Sequel-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named.

I don’t care.

If it is really being filmed here in our little old town, I’ll be here. I’ll quit my job, live in a tent outside the studio, whatever.

I’ll be first in line to be an extra with less than one second of screen time.

I’m going to see me some dinosaurs.

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  • fhutc posted at 10:16 pm on Sun, Mar 17, 2013.

    fhutc Posts: 1

    “Jurassic Park” is the greatest movie of the past 25 years." True.

  • Louis Cannon posted at 8:46 pm on Sun, Mar 17, 2013.

    Louis Cannon Posts: 16

    Wow, must be a r-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eally slow news day at the Reveille.

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