Remember those kindergarten days when one lonely child would sit in the corner while the rest played?
That’s how I will feel Super Bowl Sunday when the Colts and everyone’s beloved Saints square off for the Lombardi Trophy.
Sure, I’ll watch the game, but I’ll be the soft spoken anti-Saints fan in the corner of the bar while the ditzy blond girl wearing an authentic Mark Brunell jersey her millionaire daddy bought her — who, let me remind you, doesn’t even know what a false start is — chest bumps her friend in the ever so lovely “Who Dat Nation” T-shirt.
Nothing against the Saints organization and their fans, but enough is enough, people.
I’m sick of hearing “Who Dat?” I’m sick of countless chain e-mails about fan stories or Saints drinking games. I’m sick of Facebook status updates blowing up my news feed from people who don’t even know who Gregg Williams is, let alone where Sean Payton coached before resurrecting the Saints.
I’m sick of non-Louisianians, especially out-of-state University students, who have pole-vaulted onto the bandwagon. It’s one thing if you’re from Mississippi or Alabama because it’s not your fault your sorry state can’t have a football team. But people from Houston? Really? Please call Doc Brown and Marty and go time-travel back to 1999 and prevent Texans owner Bob McNair from ever creating an expansion team.
Louisiana hospitals will be more crowded than a war-zone infirmary if the Saints lose Sunday. So many so-called “Saints fans” will fall so hard off the bandwagon Monday morning they won’t know what to do with themselves.
It’s understandable Saints fans need this victory for morale purposes. The “’Aints” have dealt with brown paper bags, Ricky Williams’ visor, Aaron Brooks and Hurricane Katrina — just to name a few.
But Saints fans, I have no pity for you. While you digest that last sentence, let me tell you that last statement just came from a Buffalo Bills fan — the only team in NFL history to make four-straight Super Bowls ... and lose them all. So I don’t want to hear it.
Yes, the Saints were ranked No. 1 in the NFL in both yards per game and points per game, but their defense remains skeptical.
Your beloved Saints were in the bottom half of every major statistical defensive category, and only bottom-dwellers Oakland, Tampa Bay, Tennessee, St. Louis, Kansas City, Cleveland and Detroit allowed more yards than them.
Those that even got this far down are probably yelling obscenities about the Saints turnover margin — I haven’t gotten there yet.
New Orleans was second in the NFL to Green Bay in takeaways with 39 and plus-11 in turnover margin — good enough for third in the NFL behind Green Bay and Philadelphia.
Two words: Peyton Manning.
Statistically speaking, Manning had his fourth-worst season in terms of interceptions with 16, but apparently did a decent enough job to convince the Associated Press voters he was worthy of his fourth MVP trophy.
Gregg Williams is not a chump by any means, but the Colts offensive line has only allowed 10 sacks all year. That number is best in the NFL for quarterbacks with at least 10 games started.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Thanksgiving isn’t coming 10 weeks late for Manning, as he must be smacking his lips at a tantalizing Saints defense that allowed 357.8 yards a game.
And when the clock reads triple zeros and Manning hoists the trophy over his head, I’ll be “that guy” on Bourbon Street fist pumping my way toward a celebratory victory, where even Mike “The Situation” would be jealous.
Who What?
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Contact Sean Isabella at sisabella@lsureveille.com
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