It’s no secret that cheating has become popular in most relationships. Having a “side chick” is praised and even encouraged for men. Most men find it cool to have more than one partner, because if his partner can’t do what he wants, then another one will. However, the one he loves the most is also the one who doesn’t put up with his mess, and she’s most commonly referred to as the “main chick.”

Most men want things done easily, which is why they no longer put up a fight and tend to go find someone else who will do the things for them that their main chick won’t.

The side chick is seen as the “easier” type of woman. She is often hated by most women because she makes women look bad. Nobody loves a home-wrecker. But, all that hate shouldn’t go towards the side chick — it should go toward your man. 

Women are so quick to judge other women and blame them for the things that they have done, but are silent when it comes to holding the man accountable. We bicker and fight with women, but go straight back to our boyfriends and husbands as if they didn’t cheat on us.

What we fail to realize is that the “side chick” does not owe us any type of respect or loyalty. We chose to enter a relationship with a man who decided to play the field and bring another woman into the relationship without our knowledge. Some side chicks’ intentions are not malicious.

Ask yourself why the other woman chose to get involved with the man in your relationship. If you realize all of these reasons lead back to your partner, then it’s not her fault to begin with. You know your man’s charm and the game he employed to get you to date him.

He probably made you feel like putty in his hands. Well, he did the same for his side chick. Men have the power to make us feel like we are on cloud nine, to the point that we would do anything for them and refuse to face reality. It’s like we are under some sort of spell when it comes to the man of our affections, especially when you think he’s everything you wanted and more.

We are sold a dream and begin to love and accept all of his flaws, not realizing he has another side to him that he is consistently hiding. We don’t realize this side until it’s too late and until another woman is under a spell for him, too.

Not all men are like this — there are some good men out there. Popularizing side chicks has just made it hard to find those good guys we see in movies from the ‘90s. We actually have to give the good guys a chance, instead of always accepting the bad ones.

We, as women, are just as much to blame, because once we get with someone who is not right for us, we feel as though we can change them.

You feel as though because he did it to the woman before you, that he couldn’t possibly do it to you. Well sweetie, you’re wrong. How you get them is how you lose them. There is no winning the game until the man allows you to. A man will never change no matter how good you are to him — not until he chooses to give up his player card.

We as women need to stop tearing each other apart and love one another. Main chicks need to stop coming for the side chicks, and side chicks must stop allowing a man to put you second. Another woman does not ruin your relationship, your man does.

A few months ago when social media was focused on the Khloe Kardashian and Jordyn Woods scandal, I was sick to my stomach. Everyone was bashing Woods as if she was really to blame, but no one directed the same hatred toward Tristan. Khloe was in the wrong for telling Jordyn that she ruined their family. Jordyn was not the father of Khloe and Tristan's baby, she did not ruin anything. However, Tristan did.

This is what happens when a man gets caught. He is pushed to the side and not being blamed. While the women are fighting, he is laughing off in a corner somewhere or is only feeling guilty because he got caught.

All women deserve better and deserve for men to show them their worth. Stop wasting your time for a man who won’t give you his.

Te’Kayla Pittman is a 19-year-old mass communication sophomore from Atlanta, Georgia.

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