she is coming

Stars: 1/5

From covering herself in glitter and dipping her toes into the rap game to abandoning hip-hop entirely and frolicking on a beach makeup-free, Miley Cyrus is no stranger to the extreme. In her mercurial swinging from genre to genre, she has no doubt experienced criticism from all sides, and not always without reason. This time, however, she is trying something new — staying in the middle.

After the soft-rock and country inspired “Younger Now,” many were quick to point out that “old Miley” was back. The beloved childhood star was finally returning to her roots, cleaning up and turning her back on her wild past. “SHE IS COMING” proves that the assumptions were not entirely true.

Cyrus’ newest EP finally puts the artist in neutral ground, combining influences from a handful of genres to create something deeply unoffensive. The six songs pull from every artist on the radio right now to create a backing track so predictable it sounds familiar.

On top of the stew of Drake, Charli XCX and Marshmello, Cyrus is hell-bent on convincing you that she is indeed still wild. Every single track has the same message. To save you a listen, she still likes sex, drugs and freedom. They’re all pre-packaged guaranteed radio hits.

The EP begins on an almost promising note. “Mother’s Daughter" is the first introduction to the dead horse, so it’s a nice song about choice and power. There’s a lot of pop, some hip-hop, but mostly repetition.

Next, we really step into the theme of the album. “Unholy” begins with Miley stating , “I’m a little drunk, I know it.” The whole point is that yes, she likes drugs and alcohol, and yes, so does everyone else. It’s not difficult in the slightest to imagine this song blaring through the walls of every house party for the next six months, only to be dethroned by something with a similar theme.

Next, you guessed it, is another song about partying, this time featuring a rapper. “D.R.E.A.M.” is an idea borrowed directly from Wu-Tang Clan’s “CREAM" and dunked directly in a swimming pool to drown out any of the power it once had. It’s deeply anti-climactic in the worst kind of way, and Ghostface Killah’s verse tacked on at the end literally had me thinking I accidentally skipped songs.

Continuing down the line, there’s “Cattitude,” a song about being a freak in which RuPaul gets into the nitty gritty and Cyrus says “me too.” Next, “Party Up The Street.” Mike WiLL Made-It and Swae Lee are there. It’s about a party up the street. They mention the lack of parking to add some variety.

Finally, there’s “The Most,” a seemingly misplaced song in which Miley asks an unnamed person (husband Liam Hemsworth) why he still loves her even though she’s crazy. It’s a little more folksy than the rest, and in direct opposition to the title it really doesn’t do much.

In summary, “SHE IS COMING” was not very good, but it also wasn’t horrible enough to make a mark. This era marks new foray into the bland for Cyrus, which is shocking in and of itself, but that’s where the surprise ends.

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